No Computer

Ross and I thought our cord was broken to the computer, but to our dismay, the computer is dead. Over the past several weeks of moving out, moving in, and life, I somehow have survived without the computer...it pains me each day. I am able to check my email briefly at other places, but it is no fun. Hopefully I will have contact with the outside world by Thanksgiving :)

Happy Birthday Katie

My sister in laws birthday is today! Her and her family live in VA and we do not get to see them as often as we wish we could...We dont have a computer right now, but I am taking advantage of being at my Mom's house.

Katie, Happy Birthday to you!!

Here are a few things I love or admire about my sister in law:

She is fun to talk to...old stuff and new stuff.

She is a great Mom to her son Aden...

She is actively seeking after Christ.

She stays in touch with all of her family, close and distant.

She runs multiple miles a day.

She likes to laugh.

She is sensitive to God speaking to her/ convicting her.

She has been graceful to me :)

Those are just a few...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!!

We love you,
Ross, Shannon, Luke and David

Why I don't love being home today...

yes, I said it. And I wish I could hear other Moms say it.

The honest truth is that I have not enjoyed my time with Luke and David the past several weeks. I have been selfish. I have been irritable. I have been mean to Luke. I have been impatient. Did I mention I have been selfish? I am torn with being miserable here the past few weeks, yet not really wanting to be anywhere else?

Why is this? Why does it seem like everyone I know that stays at home, LOVES it? They are fully ENJOYING their time with their babies? They have their bad days, but more of the good ones. I have restled with this so bad recently.

I think the moms who really enjoy being at home, are really enjoying God. Here is why:

I have felt immense guilt for not loving it.

I have felt immense guilt for how mean I have been to Luke.

Why????.......because I have not laid my heart before God and pleaded for His help.

I have to face the facts. I am not a good mom without Christ. I think for some women, niceness seems to come a bit more easily :) Relaxing comes a bit more easily :) Mothering may come a bit more easily:) Not for me....I need Christ to work in and through me on an hourly basis. So why am I not feeding myself with Scripture and prayer? I really am desperate.

I have never realized my need for Christ in my life, as much as I have as a Mother...

When I am humble before him and I am seeking him with all of my heart, then I can say with honesty and joy:

I love being a stay at home Mom.

I look forward to feeling this way, as I know God will answer my prayer. He always has....

Happy 50th Birthday Mom!!

Today my Mom celebrated her 50th Birthday!! We went to lunch, shopped a little in downtown Belmont, and cooked out with the family last night. No big suprises, no big presents, just simple and fun....that it what I love most about my Mom...

She is simple.
She is the most unselfish mother I know.
She loves to talk, or rather listen to me and my sister talk...
She is very optimistic.
She never talks harshly about anyone.
She is a peacemaker.
She loves her family and my dads family.
She likes to get good deals at stores.
She is a good housekeeper.
She is a good cook.
She takes care of herself by eating good and pampering herself every once in a while.
She loves my boys. All three of them.
She is really good with children.
She loves my dad.
She confronts me gently about my bossiness and attitude :)
She nevers complains...

These are just a few things I love about my Mom.

Happy Birthday!!!

I missed loving him and didn't even know it....

I loved this morning.

Ross was home when everyone woke up.

We ate breakfast together as a family.

I cleaned up the mess after breakfast.

I ironed Ross' work clothes.

Luke got to say bye to Ross when he left for work.

I said to Ross before he left that I missed serving him joyfully.

On a typical day over the past almost five years of marriage, we have not had what most might call a "typical schdule". The demands of school, work, staying at home with the boys, etc...did not allow for this. When the day is done, I am often, actually ALWAYS exhaused mentally, physically, and emotionally. It is an effort to serve my husband joyfully, although it CAN be done!!

The sweet blessing of this new job, allows for some things that Ross and I enjoy having as a family...things such as time, routine, etc...

Sure, work could be closer, could pay big bucks, could be, could be, could be.....but that is the beauty of God's will and plan for our lives...it is NOT perfection in our eyes, it is answered prayer and provision, it is finding JOY in the sweet and simple blessings of Christ...like feeding your husband, cleaning up the disaster of a kitchen for the 20th time, and loving every minute of it.

I love God's choice of blessings for our home. They are perfect.

Luke, who are you thankful for?

Tonight we had some friends over to eat and hang out. Luke stayed up past his bedtime to enjoy the company and watch us play Rock Band ;) Everyone left, except Ross' cousin Nick and he helped us put Luke to bed. We read a small devotional book, sing and pray each night. Tonight the devotion was on being thankful. After we read, Ross asked, "Luke, what are you thankful for?" Luke said, "God." Although he did not fully understand what he was saying, it brought joy to my heart! I long for the day that Luke and David will be men after the heart of God and know the awesome gift of salvation...

Lord, may your Holy Spirit be working in my boys hearts at a young age. May they quickly become young men that love and fear You. They are yours Lord...

Exercise!!!

My sister-in-law, Katie, has been running for 5 weeks now!!! I am so jealous!! Way to go Katie :) I enjoy exercising, but I have NEVER been consistent and can't seem to find the best time for my schedule...

Does anyone have any suggestions for consistency? When do you excercise? How long? Where? How often? What do you do?

Diversco

In my excitement, I forgot to mention a small detail :) Ross will be working for a company called Diversco. They contract out to other companies and provide different services for them...Ross will be an account manager of about 30 employees. In his case, Diversco is contracted by the Hanes Brothers plant in Kings Mountain, which is about 20 minutes from here!! :)

God's Faithfulness

God's faithfulness to answer prayers and provide for us is MORE than I expect or expected. So much more...

ROSS GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a job that provides
a job with insurance
a job closer to home
a job he is excited about
a job with some "extras" :)

When he came home last night and said he accepted, AND began telling me the greatness of it, I got lightheaded and my arms were weak!!! ahhahahah!!! I didn't know God would answer our prayers in the detailed way that He has.

I think back on several occasions of our marriage and see God's mighty hand upon us....

I was sick our ENTIRE first year of marriage, yet was able to maintain a job with INCREDIBLE insurance.
In October of our first year, God spared my life from a blood clot in my leg and two in my lungs.
After my hospital stay, I was unable to work YET my company let me keep my position AND my insurance which.....
PAID 100% of the surgeries I had to have the following Jan and Feb!!!!!
AND Ross was working PART TIME and in school, and we NEVER left a bill unpaid because of other believers who supported us during this time!!!!!!!

That time was a whirlwind, but there was a peace among us that I WILL NEVER forget. It was unbelievable and still is, to see how God has preserved our lives in so many ways....

and Ross' new job is just another glimpse of God's awesomeness....

Clarification and Freedom

Just for clarification:
Not to belabor this subject but...My sister and I were talking about "how many" children we would like to have. We both brought up the subject of "planning" that I have previously blogged about..."Blessings as a Curse"...one thing I love about my sister, actually more than one :), is that firstly she likes to talk as much as I do, and secondly I think she understands me even when I don't make a lot of sense! Anyways, just to be clear, I desire to be Biblical in my thinking and my passions. This would include my views on child-bearing/rearing. In no way, do I think that those who have three children are any more godly that those who have one child! In no way, do I think you should not use wisdom and discretion in pregnancy and child rearing! What I DO think is Biblical, is that children are a blessing, and we should not be in opposition to those who welcome those blessings, whether it be one year after the other or 10 years in between! I just wanted to make sure there was no confusion on my part of sharing :)

Now on the subject of freedom and my confessions:
I am speaking of freedom in Chirst. This is a tough one for me. I usually don't mind sharing a struggle or two, but as I thought about these things while I was shopping BY MYSELF!!! today, I was hesitant to write about it. I am not sure how to convey this as clearly and simply as possible but here is my attempt:

My beliefs/ convictions have been dictated only by what I hear others say or teach...in the context of Biblical Christianity. I have been exposed to some of the most aweseome men and women of Christ, that I KNOW have an active relationship with Christ. I desire inflence from people like this BUT I have let THEM make up my mind about what is RIGHT and WRONG. I have failed to study God's Word intently on my own and allow His truth to dictate what I believe to be true and right!!

Here is the HANG UP...debatable issues within the Biblical community of believers such as...Halloween, alcohol, Santa, church, child rearing, homeschool, daycare,etc...You get the picture. These are just a FEW that I have wrestled with!!!! It is grueling when you are making choices based off of what others think, verses being convicted of them in your own heart by God's word!!! On some issues there are just no RIGHT or WRONG answers.

I confess that I am JUST learning to make choices for me, me and Ross, and my boys, based off of Biblical freedom and not what I think is the RIGHT thing to do according to others. I have felt this BURDEN being lifted off of me. I do not have to be in bondage to man and what man thinks!!

Second confession :) I have pridefully thought, that because I have chosen the "right way", that my choices were better than other friends and family. How prideful is that??

I need God so much everyday...every hour...

More on the Terrific Twos, Tantrums, and my craziness

Recently, I have read and talked to so many friends and family that I admire on the subject of....well...the tantrums, screaming, and self-centerdness of a two year old...AND the tantrums, screaming, and self-centerdness of a twenty-seven year old. Those two DO NOT work together.

These are the bits of advice and encouragement that I have received that have been playing through my head all week long:

1. "Just take a minute to cool off." - words and wisdom of Tasha Via (www.tashavia.blogspot.com)

2. "Pray through the situation out loud with your child." - words and wisdom from Tasha Via

(When Luke first started exhibiting some strong-willed FITS, I can remember praying through one out loud and when I was done he screamed 'MAY-MEN', his word for AMEN) I think this is an awesome opportunity for me to humble myself as a woman and a mom to God and say, I can not do it and I do not know how to do it. It will also show Luke that God IS our lives, not just night time prayer and church....he needs to see that his Mama needs Christ and we pray one day soon he will see that same need!!!!!!

3. "You are such a great mom."- words from my grandmother

(This is the simplest of phrases, and quite common to most of us, but it means so much to me to hear it from my grandmother. She raised four children of her own. I admire her and it makes me feel so proud and encouraged for her to tell me these things, even though I am not perfect.)

4. "Keep doing what you are doing."- words and wisdom from my mother-in-law

(The days that I see NO FRUIT of mine and Ross' relentless efforts with Luke, this bit of advice gives me a bit of peace and enough endurance to keep working hard!)

5. The following paragraph was written by Leah on www.prayerofhannah.blogspot.com. I couldn't say it better than she did. This is a constant pull on my heart and when it is out of line, it can cause me to bitter on days that are tough with Luke.

"There were many days when Margaret and Kirsti would let me go out and about with them as they "mommed" their children and I learned to appreciate both the joys and the constraints of being a mom. Beth made the comment to me one time that she had to learn how to say no to some things in order to take care of the more important things. This lesson has taught me to focus on my priorities (most important being my relationship with the Lord and caring for my family and home) and not stress myself out when I can't do other things I'd like to do. This is a really tough thing for me because I am a people pleaser and a do-it-myself-er. I always have a million ideas of things I'd like to do, but often they take me away from my young family when they are the ones that need me most. I remind myself that this is just a season and it won't always be like this. But for now I must direct my love and attention on my family."




What would we do without fellow believers to encourage us to press on in godliness?...

A FUN Saturday

5:30 am- David's first bottle (typical)
5:31 am- Luke is up for the morning (not so typical, not so fun)
6:00 am- Ross is still making a painful attempt to convince Luke that he is still tired
7:00 am- we are hours into the start of our day :), David is the only one asleep
8:00 am- showered and begin getting ready for the pool with Mammy (Ross' Mom)
8:30 am- Ross makes a change of plans, confirms and organizes childcare
10:00 am- David and Luke with Mammy
10:04 am- Ross says "Take in the moment and lets GO!" ahhah (he really did say this)
10:05 until 3:00 there was no time, we just enjoyed the town:

Went to the mall and spent Christmas giftcards...yes, Christmas. I hoard gift cards.
We ate out for lunch.
We went to the bookstore for a bit.
We looked inside of a house we really, really, really like.
We got a homemade Cherry-Lemon Sundrop.
We went to Morgan's shoes and bootery.

I would rather do "nothing" with him, than anything else in the world...

I loved today...

Do I see Blessings as a Curse?? Surely not...

My last post on "Blessings as a Curse.." found me pondering on my words, my convictions, my heart, my desires, God's heart, God's desires...

I am being convicted that, at times, I see the blessing of my precious boys, as a curse.

Ross and I were both sick yesterday. Ross headed to work, because he's just that kind of man :) and I called my Mom! :) Luke stayed with his Mimi all day long, David cooperated quite nicely, and I slept the day away when I could. That evening, Ross took the boys to a family cookout, and I continued to rest.

I missed Luke so much!

When they got home last night, all I wanted to do was talk to him, ask him questions, play with him (from the couch in a reclining position:) ), and just plain enjoy him. I relished being with him. I really did.

God began to prick my heart.

Why do I not ENJOY my blessing everyday? Why do I struggle with losing my temper with him? Why do I wish Mimi or Mammy would PLEASE come get him? Why do I live for nap time? All the while being irritated until those things come. Then who gets the attitude when the day is done? My sweet husband.


What a wasteful way to live as a mom and a wife. BUT....

I am FREE and FORGIVEN in Christ. I do not have to live this way!! I KNOW I cannot be a good Mom or wife on my own. I cannot love my children the way they need to be loved. I cannot serve and love Ross in the ways that he needs to be served and loved. I cannot wake up tomorrow morning and say, "OK, today I am going to try really hard not to loose my temper, and to enjoy Luke." I've tried it, and my sinfulness rears its ugly head at Luke's first meltdown. I have to deperately and humbly ask for patience, love, humility, etc...from Christ...constantly.

I am thankful for Christ's forgiveness. I am thankful for my husbands forgiveness. And I am thankful that I can excercise asking Luke's forgiveness now.

I need rest. I need time away. I LOVE IT!!! It is a BLESSING too! Fine, ok, TRUE, BUT what if it doesn't come? How will I respond? I am desperate for Christ.

The Chappell's

This post speaks for itself. (these are friends from Wake Forest) You can view the full story from the Chappell's at www.caseychappell.typepad.com/baby

They are honoring and glorifying Christ in a way that the world cannot comprehend......

August 10, 2008
Give Thanks To The Lord For He IS Good
Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His Steadfast love endures forever. We desperately need this truth to sink in today. The last week has been filled with hope and with new plans to ready the arrival of our Son, Asher. Yesterday was a suprise to us, but not to God. God brought our precious boy into this world @ 9:08pm and took him to be in the arms of Jesus shortly after. We do not understand fully through our pain, but our only real comfort is also our only hope: That God understands the death of His Son and that death has also brought us life and is giving Asher the chance to dance right now. We prayed for all of you this morning and asked that God grant you to worship in Spirit and in Truth today (draw near to Jesus, for he is our steadfast hope). Praise Him, please praise him for He is good! We love you all so much and love the body of Christ so much more through you. God grant each of us to fight for Christs kingdom perspective and to know that He loves us radically and longs for us to long for Him. We do today, now more than ever!

Dan and Casey

Blessings as a Curse..

A recent post in one of my favorite blogs (www.prayerofhannah.blogspot.com), shared the joy and the work of having two children under the age of two. This is the comment that I shared in response:

Leah,
Thanks for the post! As you know, my Luke and David are almost exactly the same ages as Samuel and Joel. I will agree that the work load seems constant and the quantity/quality of attention that each one gets is different and somtimes minimal or strained, BUT in God's sovereignty He decided to bless me with my two boys up to the very seconds that they are apart in age. I often find myself trying to "decide" when would be the "best" time to "plan" another one, but I am quickly reminded that God is the giver of life and children are a blessing. Often the world looks at having children close together in age as unwise, financially a burden, not "fair" for the other child, etc...if it truly were my choice, I know I would "mess it up" but since it is not, I have to the two greatest blessings in addition to Ross. How awesome. Thanks for sharing!!!
Shannon Bradley

So if I told you we were expecting again, what would be your thoughts? We AREN'T hahahah....just something to think about.

Why do we veiw blessings as a curse?

Day 1

It is an unspoken among family members and friends, that you are supposed to post more pictures on a blog than words. As a quick confession, I too, quickly skim the ramblings and go straight to the pictures, hoping to get a glance into other people's business :) However, I must also confess that I am secretly jealous of those who have enjoyed blogging without the added stress of pictures! With that being said, I am creating my own place to post my thoughts, my ideas, my joys, my fears, and my day to day life....my pursuit of Christ and the woman that He desires for me to be.