yes, I said it. And I wish I could hear other Moms say it.
The honest truth is that I have not enjoyed my time with Luke and David the past several weeks. I have been selfish. I have been irritable. I have been mean to Luke. I have been impatient. Did I mention I have been selfish? I am torn with being miserable here the past few weeks, yet not really wanting to be anywhere else?
Why is this? Why does it seem like everyone I know that stays at home, LOVES it? They are fully ENJOYING their time with their babies? They have their bad days, but more of the good ones. I have restled with this so bad recently.
I think the moms who really enjoy being at home, are really enjoying God. Here is why:
I have felt immense guilt for not loving it.
I have felt immense guilt for how mean I have been to Luke.
Why????.......because I have not laid my heart before God and pleaded for His help.
I have to face the facts. I am not a good mom without Christ. I think for some women, niceness seems to come a bit more easily :) Relaxing comes a bit more easily :) Mothering may come a bit more easily:) Not for me....I need Christ to work in and through me on an hourly basis. So why am I not feeding myself with Scripture and prayer? I really am desperate.
I have never realized my need for Christ in my life, as much as I have as a Mother...
When I am humble before him and I am seeking him with all of my heart, then I can say with honesty and joy:
I love being a stay at home Mom.
I look forward to feeling this way, as I know God will answer my prayer. He always has....
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4 comments:
Thank you for saying what I feel most of the time. I have been staying home with Caleb (3) and Kamryn(3 months) for about 2 monthes now. Actually, Caleb is in school from 8:30 to 2:30. It is still hard. I would rather be working. I enjoy the time with adults and also the statification that I get feeling that I have accomplished something at the end of the day. I never really hear "good job mom", "that was great how you solved that problem mom" or even "I like that shirt that your wearing" or "your hair looks great today". I know that this is a special time in both of my children's lives and it is one that I will not get back, but I really think that Caleb benefits from school, the time with kids his age and other adults. I know that if he stayed home with me 24/7,it would be really ugly. I hate to say this but 3 is worse than 2. Melissa Stirm (nobaddays96@yahoo.com)
Melissa!! Hey!! Ii is good to hear from you :)
Melissa, I didnt finish my reply before I posted back to you. I would love for Luke to be in school a few days a week, as I know he would benefit from it! But we can't afford it right now, hopefully soon!! I know that God desires the abundant life for me, which includes enjoying my children and where I am in this season of life!!! I am just not doing it, because I am not seeking and trusting him daily!! It was so good to hear from you!!! How are yall doing?? How are you kids??
I just tagged you!! Go to my blog to learn the rules=)
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