Clarification and Freedom

Just for clarification:
Not to belabor this subject but...My sister and I were talking about "how many" children we would like to have. We both brought up the subject of "planning" that I have previously blogged about..."Blessings as a Curse"...one thing I love about my sister, actually more than one :), is that firstly she likes to talk as much as I do, and secondly I think she understands me even when I don't make a lot of sense! Anyways, just to be clear, I desire to be Biblical in my thinking and my passions. This would include my views on child-bearing/rearing. In no way, do I think that those who have three children are any more godly that those who have one child! In no way, do I think you should not use wisdom and discretion in pregnancy and child rearing! What I DO think is Biblical, is that children are a blessing, and we should not be in opposition to those who welcome those blessings, whether it be one year after the other or 10 years in between! I just wanted to make sure there was no confusion on my part of sharing :)

Now on the subject of freedom and my confessions:
I am speaking of freedom in Chirst. This is a tough one for me. I usually don't mind sharing a struggle or two, but as I thought about these things while I was shopping BY MYSELF!!! today, I was hesitant to write about it. I am not sure how to convey this as clearly and simply as possible but here is my attempt:

My beliefs/ convictions have been dictated only by what I hear others say or teach...in the context of Biblical Christianity. I have been exposed to some of the most aweseome men and women of Christ, that I KNOW have an active relationship with Christ. I desire inflence from people like this BUT I have let THEM make up my mind about what is RIGHT and WRONG. I have failed to study God's Word intently on my own and allow His truth to dictate what I believe to be true and right!!

Here is the HANG UP...debatable issues within the Biblical community of believers such as...Halloween, alcohol, Santa, church, child rearing, homeschool, daycare,etc...You get the picture. These are just a FEW that I have wrestled with!!!! It is grueling when you are making choices based off of what others think, verses being convicted of them in your own heart by God's word!!! On some issues there are just no RIGHT or WRONG answers.

I confess that I am JUST learning to make choices for me, me and Ross, and my boys, based off of Biblical freedom and not what I think is the RIGHT thing to do according to others. I have felt this BURDEN being lifted off of me. I do not have to be in bondage to man and what man thinks!!

Second confession :) I have pridefully thought, that because I have chosen the "right way", that my choices were better than other friends and family. How prideful is that??

I need God so much everyday...every hour...