Why I don't love being home today...

yes, I said it. And I wish I could hear other Moms say it.

The honest truth is that I have not enjoyed my time with Luke and David the past several weeks. I have been selfish. I have been irritable. I have been mean to Luke. I have been impatient. Did I mention I have been selfish? I am torn with being miserable here the past few weeks, yet not really wanting to be anywhere else?

Why is this? Why does it seem like everyone I know that stays at home, LOVES it? They are fully ENJOYING their time with their babies? They have their bad days, but more of the good ones. I have restled with this so bad recently.

I think the moms who really enjoy being at home, are really enjoying God. Here is why:

I have felt immense guilt for not loving it.

I have felt immense guilt for how mean I have been to Luke.

Why????.......because I have not laid my heart before God and pleaded for His help.

I have to face the facts. I am not a good mom without Christ. I think for some women, niceness seems to come a bit more easily :) Relaxing comes a bit more easily :) Mothering may come a bit more easily:) Not for me....I need Christ to work in and through me on an hourly basis. So why am I not feeding myself with Scripture and prayer? I really am desperate.

I have never realized my need for Christ in my life, as much as I have as a Mother...

When I am humble before him and I am seeking him with all of my heart, then I can say with honesty and joy:

I love being a stay at home Mom.

I look forward to feeling this way, as I know God will answer my prayer. He always has....

Happy 50th Birthday Mom!!

Today my Mom celebrated her 50th Birthday!! We went to lunch, shopped a little in downtown Belmont, and cooked out with the family last night. No big suprises, no big presents, just simple and fun....that it what I love most about my Mom...

She is simple.
She is the most unselfish mother I know.
She loves to talk, or rather listen to me and my sister talk...
She is very optimistic.
She never talks harshly about anyone.
She is a peacemaker.
She loves her family and my dads family.
She likes to get good deals at stores.
She is a good housekeeper.
She is a good cook.
She takes care of herself by eating good and pampering herself every once in a while.
She loves my boys. All three of them.
She is really good with children.
She loves my dad.
She confronts me gently about my bossiness and attitude :)
She nevers complains...

These are just a few things I love about my Mom.

Happy Birthday!!!

I missed loving him and didn't even know it....

I loved this morning.

Ross was home when everyone woke up.

We ate breakfast together as a family.

I cleaned up the mess after breakfast.

I ironed Ross' work clothes.

Luke got to say bye to Ross when he left for work.

I said to Ross before he left that I missed serving him joyfully.

On a typical day over the past almost five years of marriage, we have not had what most might call a "typical schdule". The demands of school, work, staying at home with the boys, etc...did not allow for this. When the day is done, I am often, actually ALWAYS exhaused mentally, physically, and emotionally. It is an effort to serve my husband joyfully, although it CAN be done!!

The sweet blessing of this new job, allows for some things that Ross and I enjoy having as a family...things such as time, routine, etc...

Sure, work could be closer, could pay big bucks, could be, could be, could be.....but that is the beauty of God's will and plan for our lives...it is NOT perfection in our eyes, it is answered prayer and provision, it is finding JOY in the sweet and simple blessings of Christ...like feeding your husband, cleaning up the disaster of a kitchen for the 20th time, and loving every minute of it.

I love God's choice of blessings for our home. They are perfect.

Luke, who are you thankful for?

Tonight we had some friends over to eat and hang out. Luke stayed up past his bedtime to enjoy the company and watch us play Rock Band ;) Everyone left, except Ross' cousin Nick and he helped us put Luke to bed. We read a small devotional book, sing and pray each night. Tonight the devotion was on being thankful. After we read, Ross asked, "Luke, what are you thankful for?" Luke said, "God." Although he did not fully understand what he was saying, it brought joy to my heart! I long for the day that Luke and David will be men after the heart of God and know the awesome gift of salvation...

Lord, may your Holy Spirit be working in my boys hearts at a young age. May they quickly become young men that love and fear You. They are yours Lord...