This time five years ago brings back a flood of emotion and memories.
I got a phone call from my grandmother this morning and she asked if I remembered what we were doing this time 5 years ago. The memories immediately flooded my mind.
Overwhelming gratitude and peace towards God filled my heart and my mind.
There are times I love talking about that time in our life and others it scares me so bad I cannot even play the scenario through my head.
It had been several years of sickness for me, and a few very severe months. This particular morning I woke up with a funny feeling in my foot. Something told me there was something wrong and we didn't even call the ambulance. Within minutes I could not walk, Ross dressed me, and carried me to the car. My leg and foot were all but black and quickly swelling. I told Ross I didn't feel good and then passed out in the car as we were driving. He thought I had died in those few seconds of horrible fear...I woke up to him saying my name over and over and putting his hands in my mouth, thinking I was choking. We arrived at the hospital and did not even check in. My grandmother was in town for something else and beat us to the hospital. My blood presssure 60/40 something. Ross and BJ sat waiting for an answer. They had none. They told them that they may have to amputate my leg, and my parents were called. We were later told, they didn't think I would make it at all. After several hours of testing, they found a DVT (blood clot) in my left femoral vein. Complete blockage and little blood was able to get back to my heart...hence the passing out and low blood pressure. The next day, part of the clot broke off and at some point went to both of my lungs...I spent a week in ICU and another week recovering in the hospital. I had to learn to completely walk on that leg and again and lost all feeling up to my calf, which has since regenerated almost completely!
I write none of this to be dramatic. I write it, so that I will never forget about God's sovereignty in my life. His control. His healing. The immense peace He gave me through this season of our lives. The power of prayer. How many friends and family supported us in so many ways. How much my husband loved me tenderly through sickness and health. How my Mom and grandmother sat by my side for 2 weeks in the hospital and 2 more weeks at home. How good it felt to see my Dad walk into the hospital that first night, when I can't remember anything else. How it felt to see my little sister's love and concern for me in a "big" sister way.. How our church family came alongside of us financially and through meals. How churches that did not even know us came alongside of us financially. I could go on and on, I never want to forget.
Five years later, and it still brings back anxiety and a deep peace all at the same time.
Five years later, and that storm in our life seems like such a "small" part of our full life.
Five years later, a family of five, that desires to continue to trust in God's perfectness and control as much as we did five years ago today.
Lord, thank you for life, for my husband, for my family, and for your perfect control.